Hot Girl Walks, but Make It a Full-On Conversation (With Yourself)

the power of talking to yourself — out loud

Okay. 

Now — I feel very vulnerable sharing this… but I think it’s worth saying. For your growth; for mine. Because talking to yourself out loud is truly, from the bottom of my heart, a game changer.

Let me be clear: I mean this literally. I often plug in my AirPods (to soothe the fear of being seen as unhinged) and go on what I call “chit-chat walks” with myself. It might sound a little odd to some, or very familiar to others. But really, it’s not that different from journaling or recording a voice memo. And if we encourage people to journal their thoughts privately, why not let ourselves speak them out loud publicly?

Honestly, I wish I could just say: “I’m sorry, I’m busy—I need to go for a walk to talk to myself.”

In 1805, German writer Heinrich von Kleist wrote about this in an essay On the Gradual Formation of Thoughts During Speech. He noted that we often have the beginning of an idea, and active speaking is what completes it. 

In this way, speech is a tool for thinking, helping you shape a fog into something you can actually work with.  

the benefits of self-talk 

• It helps organize your thoughts. Talking through an issue is essentially creating a real time blue print of your inner world. You think as you speak, and speaking up helps you untangle. 

• It catches your inner critic. Saying your thoughts out loud can make you realize how harsh they sound. When you hear your own negative self-talk, you soften. You notice which thoughts carry shame, which ones feel unfair, and which simply aren’t true.

• It builds emotional distance. Referring to yourself in the third person can help regulate emotions and promote clarity. Notice the internal difference it makes to ask yourself “Why do I feel this way” versus “Why are you feeling this way, (your name)?” A study by Kross et al. (2014) found that third-person self-talk reduced rumination and improved performance during a stressful task. 

• It helps process stuck or painful emotions. Speaking aloud, especially about something you’ve never dared to say before can crack open bottled up shame. I’ve found myself tearing up, years after the fact, finally admitting it to myself. That’s how we release what’s been stored. And shame, as we know, is what keeps trauma trapped. 

• It helps self-soothe and problem solve. Whether you’re replaying a social interaction or prepping a tough conversation, talking it out helps scale things down. It grounds you. For people alone in new places, hiking or solo-travelling, talking aloud can be a way to regulate and reassure. 

• It improves memory and learning. Speaking aloud helps consolidate what you’re learning (and not just for verbal-learners). Teaching something out loud is a powerful way to make it stick, as it involves actively having to process and make sense of what you’ve learnt. 

Dr. Nicolosi explains this beautifully: 

“If we speak out loud, it forces us to slow down our thoughts and process them differently because we engage the language centers of our brain. By talking to ourselves we become more deliberate—and this creates a slower process to think, feel, and act, instead of being bombarded by our thoughts.”

and confidence…

As someone still navigating social awkwardness, self-talk has helped me gain confidence by practicing speaking my ideas and truth out loud. 

Some of us grew up in spaces where our thoughts and feelings were welcomed. For others, these were shut down or ignored, making speaking up feel unsafe. Over time, that shaped a harsh inner critic. And what better way to soften that voice than to the very thing it was trained to fear? Speak out loud. 

And I mean, not just a quiet whisper. Really talk — argue with yourself, comfort yourself, reflect. As if you were a friend, a speaker, a mirror. 

That’s when the benefits shine through.  

if you see me walking around…

… with AirPods in, it’s very likely I’m not on a call with a friend. I’m on an important one with myself. 

And with that, I encourage you to try this hot girl me-chat walk. And I will challenge myself to do go without the AirPods, to practice being seen talking to myself. 

Because really, the taboo around self-talk is just a social construct. 

As sociologist Erving Goffman wrote in Forms of Talk (1981):

“There are no circumstances in which we can say: “I’m sorry, I can’t come right now, I’m busy talking to myself.”

— but maybe we should. 

and why does walking help? 

Movement amplifies this practice. 

Physical movement stimulates the brain. Thinking, learning, and creativity are rooted in the same motor control areas that coordinate movement. Whether it’s walking, dancing, playing music, or writing — many creative acts don’t start in the brain, but unfold through a dynamic interplay of mind and body. 

so, try it 

Go for the walk. 

Get your steps in. 

And talk to yourself. With curiosity, not criticism.

Ramble, chit-chat, be weird — let the rhythm of your steps carry your thoughts forward. 

Because talking to yourself isn’t crazy.

It’s healing. It’s clarifying. It’s hot.